pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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