fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Randomize
