after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
