I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And then he peed in my hair
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
