I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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