You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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