when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
