woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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