How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
BRING THE BAGELS
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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