I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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