remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
