Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
