There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
