the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
