Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
