Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
