His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
