So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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