The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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