ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just threw up on my dentist
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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