So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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