Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
