hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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