bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
