just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
