You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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