i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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