Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
