Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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