Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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