Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize