You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We're facebook friends in real life
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
