I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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