At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
You were trust falling into bushes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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