He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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