I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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