I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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