Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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