drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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