I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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