So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She needs sedatives and a leash
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
