just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
