How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize