i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
