so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize