My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
porn star boner night. come get it.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
