I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
