drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
