.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
