Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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