I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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