just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
