508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
