Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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