i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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