everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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