I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
