I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize