the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
