Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
