An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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