Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
