So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
