i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
