hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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