You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
