I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
