Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
We are all done wearing pants today
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
