At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
