well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize