I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
