Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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